We always need to think of our dog as a 1-3 year old human. That's the approximate mental capacity of them, so we need to keep every communication abundantly clear and concise!
We also need to understand their sense of time.
Dogs live in the moment. They live NOW.
They live for the moment. They have weak mid term memory and great long term memory.
Think of it this way. Your dog is home alone all day. They get bored. They miss you. They have tons of energy, so the pillow on the couch looks like the perfect toy, at that moment. They tear apart the pillow, sadly to learn there is no squeaky toy in it. The place is a mess. Then they go on with the rest of their day, living in a new moment of now. Someone walks by the window. A bird chirps.
Almost think of it as time travel. They live in the time frame of now.
Now, hours later you come home. Your dog is going crazy hearing the car. Hearing the keys jingle. He/she is thinking, 'I can't wait to see Mom/Dad! Maybe they brought me a treat. Maybe they will play with me. Maybe we can go for a walk. Maybe I should grab my toy and see if they want to play with it. Oh my gosh, they are almost inside.'
You open the door and your dog is so excited to see you, in that moment! You say hi to him/her, then you notice it. The pillow stuffing all over the house.
You say 'bad dog', but your dog is thinking 'bad'? Bad, for saying hi? Bad for seeing if you have a treat or are going to play with me? Bad for doing zoomies? What's bad??? I'm so confused. Don't you love me anymore?
They have a hard time connecting tearing the pillow apart hours ago, vs being in that moment of now greeting you. Wanting to play with you.
Once you've said hi. Once they have played. Once they are out of that moment of greeting you and have settled down, then you point out the pillow mess, that when they will connect the short term past with what you're saying now.
Dogs also have a very good long term memory.
Online social media is full of it. The human went off to serve the military (or maybe just on vacation). The dog lives in the moment of now and loves Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt, Uncle, or who ever is taking care of them for the last few days, weeks or maybe years.
They think were all just going on a field trip to the airport for no specific reason.
But then off in the distance, the memory starts to kick in.
That kind of looks like my old Mom/Dad. Wow, that person knows my name, and kind of sounds like my old Mom/Dad. Hey that human is getting closer, and you know what, he/she kind of smells like my old Mom/Dad. WAIT! That IS my old Mom/Dad! And of course the dog goes crazy!
So when a dog does something and they are caught in the act, we want to mark that behavior right then! Don't think about it. Mark it right then. If your dog does something and you pause and then think, 'wow, maybe I should have marked that behavior?' it's too late. Marking a behavior needs to be in under a second. In that dog's moment of now.
Humans use different techniques to mark a behavior.
Some use clickers. It's a good tool, but I don't know about you, but at times I have a hard enough time remembering to bring my smart phone or where I put my keys last, so adding a clicker onto the list of things I need to always have with me is not very realistic. And, even if I do have it, it might be buried deep in my pocket and it will take a few seconds to dog out, turn it around so it will work, then click it, and you guessed it. It is now a different time frame for the dog.
I like to use my voice. I always have my voice with me.
By marking a behavior we give the dog immediate feedback, good or bad.
If we mark the action/behavior as bad, the dog, just like us, wants to be happy and will in the future try to avoid that action. Dogs don't want to feel bad or have us upset with them.
Now days with the woke and politically correct culture, some believe it's bad to say 'no' to a dog. I disagree. The dog needs to know the difference between good and bad.
To make 100% sure the "no" is taught properly, safely and in proportional relationship to the offending action, I only teach this in person so there is no way to get it wrong or do it too strongly.
The "no" that I teach is referred to as a leash pop. Again, it's a very specific action that I only teach dog owners in person. It never hurts the dog but it does knock them out of that current state they are in, into a new moment of now. It breaks that laser focus of, 'I want to go get that dog' back to 'Mom/Dad is trying to tell me something. Some may say it's a Tony Robbins moment.
In all my years of training, using the "no", not a single dog has ever been physically hurt or mentally hurt and had to visit Oprah or Dr. Phil to discuss their feelings and learn how to feel good about themselves again.
In my classes, we teach the leash pop and use it for about 5-15 minutes in one class, and then the dog seems to realize Mom/Dad really doesn't like me doing that. I love Mom/Dad. I want to make Mom/Dad happy. I just won't do that thing that makes them unhappy, whether it be barking growing, lunging, etc.
Now at times we may need to give the dog a gentler reminder but in nearly almost 99% of the times, that bad behavior is resolved within a few minutes.
So, 15 minutes of 'negative' behavior and then a lifetime of positive reinforcement.
Dogs like us, prefer positive reinforcement.
If at work, your boss says, 'that work project you spent all week on sucked. You wasted company time. You should have done X, Y, Z! I can't believe you'd even submit horrible work like that for anyone to see'. You're going to feel defeated. You're going to hang your head a little lower for awhile.
Versus, if your boss yells out 'hey everyone a quick 5 minute meeting. Last week I asked John to do a report for me. I knew it would be an uphill battle, since this isn't his area of expertise. Quite honestly, I would have had a hard time with this myself. But you know what? He hit a grand slam! He went above and beyond. He absolutely killed it! I wasn't even thinking about it, but he added X, Y, & Z in it and it was a great addition. This is the kind of work that makes us all look great, and I can only imagine how awesome his next big project will turn out.'
Even if your boss is not being 100% honest, you're going to appreciate the kind words, pat on the back from your co-workers and I guarantee, you're going to work extra hard on the next project.
Just reading these two paragraphs, I'm sure you felt the change in your body.
Positive reinforcement works!
And it works with dogs too.
There are 3 ways we praise our dog.
Verbally. Physically. And with Rewards.
We can praise our dog verbally simple by the smile and tone in our voice. 'Good Boy'. good girl! Who's da good boy? etc. They know. They will show you they know with tail wags.
We can also praise a dog physically with love rubs or pats on the hind end. Try to avoid at series of head pats, just like Aunty Flo used to thump her hand on top of our head when we were little (thump, thump, thump), dogs are a fan of it either.
Ears rubs, rubbing the side or by the butt works great.
Lastly you can mark a behavior with a reward. It might be a treat, a high value treat (sounds like a good idea for the next chapter), or maybe a few seconds with his/her favorite plush squeaky toy or a few seconds of tug o war with a rope toy.
So a quick summary.
Mark a behavior immediately!
After the first few "no's" then 95-99% of the time it will be positive reinforcement: verbally, physically, and/or with a treat.