This is a subject that no body wants to talk about, but sadly, need to.
It just doesn't seem fair that a dog who is nothing but smiles, love and tail wags, should ever die, but sadly they do.
Sometimes the passing is brought on by a traumatic accident and sometimes just as a part of the end of a life cycle.
We all know we all grieve in our own ways. The 'experts' say that a loss of a 4 legged family member can be more difficult than that of a human. With humans, we see their aging. We see their unhealthy decisions everyday, so we are sad but understanding.
Sometimes with dogs, we think, 'could we have done something different or better!?'
For rescue dogs, EVERY day out of the Shelter is the best day ever.
When it's time to say good bye, the hardest thing you may ever have to do is be there in that moment. It is unbearably difficult, but be there with them. That is when they need you the most.
I won't forget Monday, February 27th, 2023.
The Thursday before, I took Hilton, my Golden Retriever in for a routine blood test. Golden Retrievers have a high rate of cancer so I do routine blood tests, for peace of mind, and on the off chance I catch something early.
The next day the phone rang. "The Dr. got Hilton's results in and would like you to come in and discuss them".
Out of the blue, he told me Hilton was in final stages of kidney and liver failure and we need to put him down immediately.
What a shock!
After a few minutes, I began asking questions, and I made the decision that we should do everything we can to ease his pain, but give me a few more days with him. Was that a selfish decision? 100%. But knowing he would be pretty pain free, I still decided to do it.
Even as I write this, i'm still coming to tears.
I made sure that was the best weekend Hilton ever had.
He didn't have the energy to jump in and out of my truck so I was honored to help him. He could walk but tired easily, so I bought a wagon that he could sit in.
That weekend, we went to his favorite park. He also loved the beach so we walked up and down the boardwalk enjoying our last few minutes together. He was tired and had a really hard time walking in the sand but I used every bit of my strength to carry him close to the water's edge where I held him as close as I could as we watched the sun go down.
Hilton loved bones, so we swung by my favorite meat market who barbeques on the weekend and I got him the best ribs of his life.
We all know chocolate is bad for dogs. Hilton had seen me eat chocolate for years, but on Sunday it was his turn. He was able to experience one of my favorites, chocolate ice cream for the first time.
I wasn't going to let Hilton pass away in a cold Vet's office so over the weekend I was able to find a service where a Vet makes house calls, for this purpose.
Sunday night, I held him closer and tighter than I ever had!
Normally, I'm up late and wake up late, but for some reason, I woke up about 5am. All I could do was look him in his eyes and tell him over and over and over again how much he was loved and how much he meant to me.
Many Christians believe that animals go to heaven (Psalms 35:5-6). I pleaded with God, that, that was true. I demanded it be true!
The Vet came over. He was very respectful and explained to me what was about to happen. Injection #1 would be to put him to sleep, as if he was having a surgery. Injection #2 would be the fatal injection and end his life in 10-20 seconds.
The Dr. explained, that sometimes there may be some body (muscle) convulsions. The bowels may relax so the dog may defecate. Thankfully neither of those happened.
I'm not sure why, but I wanted to make sure I gave him the injection. So after the Dr. inserted the IV, I, who loved this dog more than anything else, as we laid together on our bed, I took his life.
I looked into his eyes once last time, told him I loved him, and watched as his pupils dilated and literally the life leave him.
Even after I though I was all teared out, at every point of our weekend, and even that morning, I still had more, what Oprah calls, more 'ugly cry' in me,.
I adopted Hilton from a Shelter on March 20, 2017. I though I was doing him a favor by giving him a home. Little did I know how that bundle of fur rocked my life. 2,170 days just didn't seem enough.
It was the hardest thing in life I ever had to do, but am so thankful that I was there with him in that transition.
After about 30 minutes, I picked up his limp lifeless body and carried him out to the Vet's van.
Some people like to remember their loved ones in different ways. You can, of course, have the body cremated in a mass cremation. You can have the body cremated individually, so you can keep the ashes. You can also have the remains buried in a cemetery. I chose to have his remains cremated and I have them in a very nice display box with his picture on it, next to his collar and an ink print and cement print of his paw.
I've heard many people say after the loss of a pet, they never want to go through that pain again, which I can understand. The experts say that a new pet won't ever replace the old pet, but you'll just find a new place in your heart for the new pet.
Yes, that loss is horrific, but I can't imagine not experiencing life with out that wiggly butt always a few steps behind me on walks, or seeing those eyes, peaking thought the glass and that tail going crazy with love and excitement as I open the front door.
Life can get so busy, and one day your dog will be gone so love him and spoil him as much as you can today!
